Thurs
3/25/2010
4:23 PM
Google is "cruisin for a bruising" as my aunt likes to say when I get too sassy, after redirecting traffic from their Chinese search engine to their uncensored Hong Kong hub. While their boldness is certainly admirable, this is like watching Mel Gibson give himself up in Brave Heart only to perish at the hands of the sword. China hacks into the g-mail accounts of human rights activists but I'm sure they would never capture Eric Schmid and send him to an underground jail to endure bamboo shoot torture for trying to let their billion-plus population in on that little secret the rest of the world calls the Tiannenman Square Massacre.
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3/25/2010
4:16 PM
Ben Bernanke shocked law makers today by announcing the budget outlook for fiscal 2011 was "somewhat dark." Bernanke speaks to Congress like they're stuffed animals who have been collecting dust in his bedroom for three years. "What do you mean things are somewhat dark? You told us everything was going to be a-okay," Mr. Cuddlebuttons, D-Michigan replied.
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3/15/2010
7:38 PM
Despite reports last week that they were making progress with China, Google is essentially preparing to make their exit from the nation within the next few weeks. Being on the outside of the China/Google dispute is like being the friend in the middle of a divorce. You meet one of them at a bar where they tell you they think it's going to work out. Meanwhile, you're sipping on their drink wondering if their spouse is going to take the kids or leave a contact number.
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3/11/2010
7:53 PM
Citigroup CEO Vikram Pandit made remarks this morning claiming the ailing bank is poised for profit after shedding some of its more riskier assets. In the hours that followed, shares of the company actually climbed by 5.6 percent! 22 cents! If you can just say things out loud and have them come true I don't know why everyone doesn't just do that! Is it illegal? Does it work 100 percent of the time...we'll seeTomorrow I'm going to win the lottery and have a make secret handshake with Jamie Dimon!
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3/3/2010
7:44 PM
I know that I'm delivering a big shock here but if you can believe it, mammoth financial institutions don't like Obama's new Volker Rule. The treasury is dead set on a financial overhaul with consumer protection which means, more regulations for the banks! And less risky trading! (Like the whole Goldman helps Greece cover its deficit trade type deal). I'm just as surprised as you are that banks don't like people looking over their shoulders. It's not like they have ever done anything illegal that they might want to hide from us. But seriously banks, complaining about rules is like taking your parents fancy car out for a drive and smashing it into the side of your house 10,000 times. Then, taking a car your parents bought for you because you couldn't buy a new car because you had no money and then driving it into the ocean. And then saying, hey I'm going out for a drive with your car, be chill.
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3/2/2010
8:03 PM
Obama wrote a letter to Congress today detailing Republican proposals he approves of for the Health Care Reform Legislation. While it could be assumed most of these would be fiscal policies and cost cutting, if in fact he is attempting to win bi-partisan support, such is not the case. Instead he approves of a suggested measure to send investigators into medical facilities to discover fraud and wasted funds. How the investigators are going to spy on doctors and nurses while wearing a hospital gown and prosthetic nose/ mustache/ glasses combination has not yet been revealed. Additionally, while some Republicans may support this measure, I'm pretty sure that this wasn't the element tipping the scales on the vote. It's like someone asking for an ice cream cone and you responding by saying "No, but heres one single sprinkle. Vote for me!"
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3/1/2010
3:05 PM
Goldman Sachs saved puppies and gave money to charity this year so their employee compensation policies couldn't possibly be a little on the side of excess. People that work in investment banking need two boats, all of them, they just do, so deal with it. That's basically what Goldman heads said today in a filing with the SEC in which they declined to grant several requests from shareholders that the board should investigate and recoup compensation within the company. When asked for further comment Goldman head, Lloyd Blankfein was unable to be reached for comment, as phones made of solid Gold are less pragmatic then one might think.
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2/26/2010
7:45 PM
House
oversight committee Chairman Edolphus Towns has accused Toyota of withholding information in previous cases with injured Toyota drivers. Toyota is denying these allegations making it a case of he said she said. People are naturally more inclined to believe Toyota over a person who, judging by his name was either born in the 19th century or is presently dually employed at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. In reality though, if these accusations prove true, they could become increasingly harmful to automaker. Since the start of the recall, 10 percent fewer Toyota drivers said they would purchase a vehicle produced by the company again.
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2/24/2010
8:23 PM
If you clicked on this because this headline came as a surprise to you, where did you find the time machine that teleported you here from 1998? Get it?! Because that was probably around the last time blockbuster was relevant. After posting massive losses for the umpteenth consecutive quarter Blockbuster is finally getting hip to the times and putting in 7,000 blockbuster kiosks across the U.S.. How this will help business remains to be seen considering Redbox is way ahead of them on this train and vends movies for as low as a dollar. What might help revive the company; however, is the introduction they have planned for Blockbuster On Demand. There are already a number of options for getting movies on demand, but in the event that Blockbuster could give buyers a lower rate for the service, they may have the ticket to posting earnings again. But this is blockbuster after all so they may be sitting somewhere think thinking they're the first people to come up with this ...
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2/24/2010
8:11 PM
JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon is a wanted man, but unlike most of his white collar peers Dimon isn't being pursued for money laundering or insider trading. He's wanted for tire dumping. Dimon is among the more well recieved CEO's on Wall Street and has even won the favor of President Obama, who in most other cases would like to recreate the machine in Honey I Shrunk the Kids to minimize big businesses. With that in mind Dimon's involvement in this tire dumping scandal comes as something of a surprise to anyone who would be surprised over such things.
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